Self Evaluation Assignment #1

My first speech was a disappointment to myself. I did not achieve what I was hoping, maybe because I was not that clear about what I wanted other than just demonstrating how to make macaroni salad. I tried to use some of those breathing techniques we read in our book and watched from the videos. To my disappointment none of it worked, my anxiety was far greater than can be controlled. I have concluded that maybe a sedative would work better than trying to take deep breaths. I did not feel confident in delivering my speech, I could hear the speech I wanted to say in my head but my thoughts became so incoherent, it all went out the window and down the street. I am not quite sure as to what I plan to do for the next speech. Seeing that none of the other suggested techniques work. If I had to do it all over again, I would probably pick another subject, one that could be better researched.
My goal for my next speech will be to pick a topic that I will be able to research better. There was not much available to about making macaroni salad or the history of it. Perhaps a topic with more history background information available to research will give me more confidence and more information to share in my speech. I am not sure what other preparations to make to calm my nerves when it will be time for me to deliver my speech. I am hoping after meeting everybody in class and being more familiar with everybody, that it will help calm my nerves a bit since you all will not complete strangers anymore.
After watching my video, I could tell I was not as prepared as I tried to be. From the moment the first sentence left my mouth, I was saying my information the way I had been practicing all week. Between my nerves and then starting my speech as intended, It completely through me off and all my thoughts became incoherent and found myself trying to pull it back together while avoiding a bunch of mumbling which only worked a little. At least I kept some type of eye contact; unfortunately, this just made it worse for me, as I started to think how ridiculous I must have looked to everybody that was staring back at me. Thank you for not laughing. Overall I would have to rate my eye contact at five.
I only mentioned one source citation in what little speech I delivered. As I am writing this, I am thinking maybe I was trying to research in the wrong area, I was not asking the right questions therefore I was not researching the right answers. I would have given myself an F for the quality of my speech. I tend to grade myself harder because I know I could have done so much better. I could have at least rambled on to use up the 4-5 minutes allowed for the speech, and avoided a deduction regarding that area. After watching the video, I have concluded I am going to have to come up with a very creative way to get over my nerves and be ready to present a redemption speech.